The best thing about living in Chiswick is the lack of instagrammable restaurants, the vacuum of notable landmarks and the characterless buildings. Sounds like a rather mundane place to live no? Not the best place for a photo shoot at any rate. But I've learned that as a Chiswickian, I don't crave those kind of influencer or tourist-y hotspots on my doorstep. I'm like an Austrian local with a thermal spa at the end of my street. I'd simply rather you not come, and let me have the hot tub to myself.

Yes, but you may be thinking of moving to London and asking, is it safe? Well it is an interesting question. I've lived here for close to 4 years and thought it to be a mini slice of heaven. According to statistics the crime rate in Hounslow, (the borough for Chiswick) the crime rate in Hounslow was lower than average for the Metropolitan Police force area (2021). According to this report by Rent London Flat, Richmond (a neighbouring town) is one of the safest places to live. In fact the safest place to live in London based on official crime statistics from Metropolitan Police. It's literally two stops away on the District line from Gunnersbury station.

Chiswick itself feels very safe, I've not encountered any crime of any fashion. I've not witnessed any crimes first hand and have only heard old wives tales of crimes such as boutique dogs being kidnapped in broad daylight. Of course that is not to say it does not exist.

There is very little homeless compared to the rest of London, especially East and Central. Which is to be expected I suppose. I don't have a family so can't tell you about the quality of schools in the area. However, some initial research tells me that Ofsted has reviewed the schools as 'good'.

Ok that aside, I don't have kids and never will so let’s kick that well into the long grass.

I'm a dog owner and let me tell you, this is the best part of the city for dog owners. Not only are the streets clean and not overly populated, they have gated parks in Chiswick so your dog can run with gay abandon. My dog also swings both ways, so he takes the gay abandon part quite literally. The pubs are plentiful, though not all serve the best 'pub food'.

Best pubs in Chiswick, LONDON

I've so far found three that have become my interchangeable go-to's depending on what end of town we find ourselves in. The Swan (pictured above) has the best bangers and mash in London as far as I'm concerned. There is a nice outdoors area to eat in the summer and welcomes dogs. The Crown on the high street has the best customer service and is the most conveniently placed. They used to do half price Tuesdays and the bavette steak was the best in town. Sadly they've stopped both of those. However, it's also the best place to book for a larger group gathering. It has the best space to cater for that. Then there is The Roebuck which is the best in Chiswick for a Sunday Lunch. The size of the roast puddings are ridiculous. These are just 3, there are plenty more and should each be discovered.

Can you watch the footy?

As I mentioned in a previous article about the best pubs to watch the footy in London, The Packhorse and Talbot has multiple screens and the staff can accommodate you with booking tables. The bar manager Angelo and another staff member Akis (think that's how you spell it) are great and have now remembered my drink as well as my table. They also serve great Rhubarb Gin cocktails for the other half. If I had one criticism is that the food isn't as good as the other pubs mentioned above.

Is it peaceful?

It's stunningly peaceful and quiet in Chiswick. I've lived in both ends of town now and it's perfect. There is a stretch of the River Thames that you can walk to Hammersmith and the walk is scenic and relaxing. Another place to go on a sunny day is Chiswick House and Gardens. You can see the herons and have a picnic in the park. There is also a cricket green with a pavilion which I'm told is also a great way to spend an evening.

Shopping, does it have everything I need?

So if you're not much of a cook like me there is a place in Chiswick Lane called COOK. (In fact as I type this I can see it from my lounge window). It has an endless stock of organically cooked ready meals. I'm not normally in favour of recommending frozen meals, but these are the best. I regularly buy 5-6 meals a week and they serve 2. Most are under £10. There are larger portions and we cook those for guests that come stay or drop round for lunch time drinks in the garden. They also deliver (although I've yet to utilise that service, which would be something of a laugh). See the menu on their website.

Outside of that there are normal supermarkets on the high street. An M&S (I'm a regular), a Waitrose (not so much anymore) and a BIG Sainsbury's with free parking. On the High Street you'll also find fruit and veg markets. 2 I use regularly use for herbs and greens. Every weekend one end of the High Street will have either a flower market, a cheese market or a vintage market.

Clothes, can I buy them anywhere?

One thing you'll notice about Chiswick, is the distinct lack of marquee name clothes shops. I would say Simon Carter is perhaps the best known men's clothes shop in town. There is LA Menswear and Riccardo close by also. The shops look great, I have yet to make a purchase in any of them I'm ashamed to say. Each look to have regular sales and the window displays are very inviting. For me, I've reached a stage where my wardrobe is heaving and I'm looking to offload more than I am looking to inherit.

Close to the airport?

Yes actually one of the big benefits is we are about a £25-30 uber lift away from Heathrow Terminal 5. As an aside you're also very well connected here in Chiswick to most parts of London. The Overground runs up to North London from Gunnersbury, the district line from either Turnham Green is a 20 minute ride into Central London.

Cinemas

Technically it's not Chiswick, but the Westfield shopping centre has the VUE and there is also another one opposite Shepherds Bush train station. In Chiswick itself there is Chiswick Cinema which has recently opened and I am a Gold Member. Prices for drinks and food are off the chart even with Members discount, but I'm happy to put money in the local community and I do want to get to the cinema more often this year.

This is not to be confused with The Old Cinema, which is a few doors down and now a Vintage Market. It's a spiralling labyrinth of a place spaced out over 3 floors. Even if you're not in the mood ti buy you can easily kill an hour rummaging around and getting lost. I have personally bought my floating banana desk from there. Also a side dressers and various James Bond vinyl.

Culturally diverse?

I would say Chiswick is predominately white. Middle-age whitey that loves to kill an hour in Waterstones or in the Oxfam Book Store.

That's probably about it. House prices are pretty reasonable around here. Buying something with a garden comes at a premium of course. We lucked out in that area. Apparently Timothy Dalton lives here in Chiswick but I've yet to come across him, no matter how many times I camp outside his house at night.