Valletta: The River Shuttle - The Best Way to see the Old City

Article by guest author Peter Brooker

We boarded the river shuttle in Valletta amidst a downpour. A rare slice of reprieve from the humidity which inspired the street vendors to dance in the puddles and whistle as if it were an illegal rave.

An old Russian lady boarded our boat by mistake and was threatened with police action if she didn’t disembark. Cries of ‘get off the boat’ from the unsympathetic tourists, soaked to the core

despite their sun hats and ponchos. She drew quite the crowd. Just another obstinate old Russian lady who doesn't believe in joining a queue and thinks that her time is more valuable than anyone else's.

The harbour has a mix of the old and new. Bombed out from the Second World War by the Nazis. It has been substantially modified over the years with extensive docks, wharves, and fortifications. Cranes were adorned with spot motifs that gave the verisimilitude of giant giraffes grazing over the bay. Kids dived off the rocks, and waved to the tourists from the shallows.

There was a bar in town simply called 'The Pub' where Oliver Reed died. According to one article the landlord said Reed's last order was eight beers, 12 double rums and half a bottle of

whisky. With regret, I didn't go in. Something from Gladiator was filmed in Valletta but I didn't care for that. Although I can't help but love seeing Russell Crowe frequent those locations from the movie. Something also from the Bond films but nothing specific.

Overall the harbour tour felt somewhat overkill. We'd already been through the main harbour when we docked on the cruise ship. Seeing the harbour close up was interesting enough, but it was like visiting a vineyard on a hangover.

We didn't tip the tour guide. She spent far too long talking about how tourism is killing her culture. Whilst that may be true, there is always a time and place to offload some cathartic disquiet. Doing it to a packed bus of tourists was not either.